blah...

its been cool working.... except that it can be stressful at times...

but yeah...life has been pretty amazing these days!!! or at least i'm trying to look at a better perspective here... lol..

been learning how to chill these days...especially when you worked so hard the entire week...and then when its finally FRIDAY...you get to chill at Ship and Mitre with a bunch of maniacs as well...lol... trying to lose some work stress ler...hehehe...

trying to adapt to new lifestyle as well apart from the 'happy hour' session every friday now... is to get slimmer as well =p badminton is back in trend now!!! heheheheh... trying to sweat here...since its colder now...although i cycle to work...doesnt really help much...

hopefully i'll be in shape for Paris!!!! can't wait!!! >.<

Cuilin..!!! This is for you!!

I have a confession to make...

I never thought I could stand up again...

I fell hard...so hard that I never knew who I was..people around me think that I am alright

'aiya..its Dorcus...she will be fine'

I wasn't... it was difficult. I am not superhero...who knows how to hide PAIN...

it was painful in the beginning...I fell on a 'BIG rock'...It broke something very delicate...it is so delicate tht it could drive me to somebody I could not even recognise...

But things change...

God has been wonderful...He obviously is.. He showed me things that I do not want to see in the beginning..I ran away from reality...hiding myself behind the shadows... didnt want the world to know about it... I cannot bring myself to face the 'people'

It is hard enough to survive UK (especially now) nobody knows except for God. I've been living in a very very bitter life... Friends were alright...but extended families were a pain in the butt...you obviously do not know how hard it is to be living in foreign country all by yourself...stop sucking it all up..

Then again..God showed me all the wonderful things all over again...people that I can call 'family'...Summerfest was amazing...an eye-opener to what He wanted to tell me...it change the whole perspective...especially how I am leading my life now.. I slowly letting things go...one by one...leaving it all to Him...

As far as I am concern right now...I am happy...I may be tired...but at least this is what I want to do...at least I am dwelling in Him...

Got a job...not the 'ONE' but at least it pays the rent and bring food home...

cuilin, I am doing fine here...Although I miss home...there are still a lot of things for me to do here...and I will find out what it is =) you will be coming here...so I shall be meeting you very soon!!! take care, babes...

xxx

April Fool day...

one minute i woke up..its new year...the next thing i know..3 months pass by so so quickly..
one minute i was in kl...next in uk... 6 weeks pass by so so quickly...
what am i doing..?? what have i done..??

in times like this...

i really wan to be strong...words cannot describe how disappointing or how depressing this is ...nothing beats the feeling of loneliness as well... friends are everywhere.. yet.. it still feels tht way.. people around you seems to be near... but it is so distant... so far tht no one is listening.. except one person...whom i am clinging on to..and is the only hope i will be expecting and praying for... crying wont help..because this world is already a cruel world i am living in..

smiley faces doesnt seem to tell the world how unhappy i am living here.. so whats the point..?? its not pointless to be living..but pointless to be staying..shud i leave for good..??? regret is not something i wan to cling on to for the rest of my life...

i really want to be successful...so successful that i do need to worry abt everyone else.. are you listening..?? i need a miracle...i really do

Miss nyonya food...

yea..!!! finally finished watching E.U >.<

God is in control...!!

A man from Norfolk , VA called a local radio station to share this on Sept 11th, 2003, TWO YEARS AFTER THE TRAGEDIES OF 9/11/2001. His name was Robert Matthews. These are his words:

A few weeks before Sept. 11th, my wife and I found out we were going to have our first child. She planned a trip out to California to visit her sister. On our way to the airport, we prayed that God would grant my wife a safe trip and be with her. Shortly after I said 'amen,' we both heard a loud pop and the car shook violently. We had blown out a tire. I replaced the tire as quickly as I could, but we still missed her flight. both very upset, we drove home. I received a call from my father who was retired NYFD. He asked what my wife's flight number was, but I explained that we missed the flight.

My father informed me that her flight was the one that crashed into the southern tower. I was too shocked to speak My father also had more news for me; he was going to help. 'This is not something I can't just sit by for; I have to do something.' I was concerned for his safety, of course, but more because he had never given his life to Christ. After a brief debate, I knew his mind was made up. Before he got off of the phone, he said, 'take good care of my grandchild. Those were the last words I ever heard my father say; he died while helping in the rescue effort.

My joy that my prayer of safety for my wife had been answered quickly became anger. I was angry at God, at my father, and at myself. I had gone for nearly two years blaming God for taking my father away. My son would never know his grandfather, my father had never accepted Christ, and I never got to say good-bye.

Then something happened. About two months ago, I was sitting at home with my wife and my son, when there was a knock on the door. I looked at my wife, but I could tell she wasn't expecting anyone. I opened the door to a couple with a small child. The man looked at me and asked if my father's name was Jake Matthews. I told him it was. He quickly grabbed my hand and said, 'I never got the chance to meet your father, but it is an honor to meet his son.'
He explained to me that his wife had worked in the World Trade Center and had been caught inside after the attack. She was pregnant and had been caught under debris. He then explained that my father had been the one to find his wife and free her. My eyes welled up with tears as I thought of my father giving his life for people like this. He then said, 'there is something else you need to know.'

His wife then told me that as my father worked to free her, she talked to him and led him to Christ. I began sobbing at the news. Now I know that when I get to Heaven, my father will be standing beside Jesus to welcome me, and that this family would be able to thank him themselves . When their baby boy was born, they named him Jacob Matthew, in honor of the man who gave his life so that a mother and baby could live. This story should help us to realize this: God is always in control. We may not see the reason behind things, and we may never know this side of heaven, but God is ALWAYS in control. Please take time to share this amazing story. You may never know the impact it may have on someone. God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called.

Give thanks to the Lord for He is good. His love endures Forever.
Psalm136:1