I never thought I could stand up again...
I fell hard...so hard that I never knew who I was..people around me think that I am alright
'aiya..its Dorcus...she will be fine'
I wasn't... it was difficult. I am not superhero...who knows how to hide PAIN...
it was painful in the beginning...I fell on a 'BIG rock'...It broke something very delicate...it is so delicate tht it could drive me to somebody I could not even recognise...
But things change...
God has been wonderful...He obviously is.. He showed me things that I do not want to see in the beginning..I ran away from reality...hiding myself behind the shadows... didnt want the world to know about it... I cannot bring myself to face the 'people'
It is hard enough to survive UK (especially now) nobody knows except for God. I've been living in a very very bitter life... Friends were alright...but extended families were a pain in the butt...you obviously do not know how hard it is to be living in foreign country all by yourself...stop sucking it all up..
Then again..God showed me all the wonderful things all over again...people that I can call 'family'...Summerfest was amazing...an eye-opener to what He wanted to tell me...it change the whole perspective...especially how I am leading my life now.. I slowly letting things go...one by one...leaving it all to Him...
As far as I am concern right now...I am happy...I may be tired...but at least this is what I want to do...at least I am dwelling in Him...
Got a job...not the 'ONE' but at least it pays the rent and bring food home...
cuilin, I am doing fine here...Although I miss home...there are still a lot of things for me to do here...and I will find out what it is =) you will be coming here...so I shall be meeting you very soon!!! take care, babes...
xxx
